Psalm 133 (NLT)
How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony!
For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil
that was poured over Aaron’s head,
that ran down his beard
and onto the border of his robe.
Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon
that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing,
even life everlasting.

Philippians 2:1-2 (First Nations Version)
As you walk the road with the Chosen One, have you gained from him courage for the journey? Have you found comfort in his love? Do you share together in his Spirit? Has his tenderness and mercy captured your heart? If so, then have the same kind of thoughts. Love with one heart. Join together in one Spirit. And walk side by side on one path. This will make my heart leap for joy.

An important part of our rule of life is our relationship with others. There is the first order: calling of the first commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, then the second order calling of the second commandment: love your neighbor as yourself. Connection is something for which we all long. In sports, hobbies and other affinities, right down to the bittersweet existence of social media, we long for connection. But connection as it pertains to our life with God and Rule of Life, I believe, invites us to be intentional about the kind of connection that we build in our lives.

The Tapestry of Our Lives

I’ve come to think of relationships as a tapestry. Tapestry weaving is the slow and methodical art of weaving pictures. This weaving is quite a skill, and if you’ve seen a tapestry, even a more simpler design is easy to appreciate for it’s complex artistry. As I was thinking about it, I was thinking about how the different relationships in our lives are like the yarns in a tapestry. There are the warps (the vertical yarn that is fastened down, creating a sense of a canvas), and the wefts (the yarn that is woven into the warps) that create the scene. In the process, a complex tapestry may look like an absolute mess (and indecipherable) from the back. But if you flip it around it can yield a stunning appreciation for the patience, skill, and imagination that took to make it. I’ve been thinking about how our years and experiences are like the warps that make up our lives, and our relationships are like the wefts of different colors. Maybe some of the relationships are skeins (bolts) of yarn that are woven into our lives for a time, but there are also those that seem to show up in our lives that characterize much of the picture with their presence. They are a big part of who we have become.

Now, I recognize that I easily caught up in metaphor (and metaphors are imperfect), but if you’re still tracking with me, I believe that the spiritual practice of relational connection is an intentional piece of our formational life with God that over time shows us the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives, even when it’s not always immediately seen at the time.

The Spiritual Practice of Relationship

I’ve learned that spiritual friendship involves having relationships in your life, with whom you can share your story. Developing a familiarity with someone who not only knows what’s happened in your life, but also, the lessons that you’ve learned, the words that the Lord spoke to you in those places, and who you’ve become through it. In the words of Jim Wilder, this kind of community, “Reminds you who you are, whenever you forget.”

I’ve also learned that the spiritual practice of connection involves a heart to listen well. It means listening without judgement, while lifting each other up and pointing each other toward Christ. It means creating a safe place for one another to confess, to grieve, as well as celebrate and hope.

With all of this said, the Spiritual Practice of Relational Connection, I believe, is indeed a practice. It takes cultivating. It take a dedication to form and a reliance on the Holy Spirit to actualize – but I’ve found that it’s worth it.

Intentionally Pursuing Friendship with Those Who are Unlike Us

Another conviction that I have, that I’ve prayed for the Lord to make true in my life (and I recommend for us all), is that I’d pursue meaningful relationships with people different from myself (cultural background, socio-economic status, stage of life, etc.). In a Lectio 365 prayer time, they shared the statement, “If all your friends smell the same, then you’ve got the wrong people around the table.” While those who know me know that I have no sense of smell…you get the picture. I need different perspectives in my life that expand how I see the world, and show me what it means to follow God as who they are, so that I can more intentionally embody what it means to embody Christ as who I am.

Reminding Key Friends of the Gift That They Are

Finally, I believe an important practice of my rule of life is reaching out to people who the Lord has used to speak into my life. As they come up in my mind, I reach out, send a text or email, and give them a call, and thank them for listening to the Lord and being them. It’s a practice of gratitude, and remembering the road the Lord has led you on.